The Problem With Pole Dancing

“Can you teach me how to pole dance!?” I’m asked for the third time this week by my friends, my boyfriends friends, and even strangers. “Sure!” I say with a smile, secretly scanning the room for a small corner to scream in. This isn’t the first time I’ve been asked by regular people to let them soak up the fruits of my labor for them to have a cool story to tell or a risqué snapchat to post nor will it be my last. I’m happy to oblige but only after some education on why this request is more than a little annoying.

Let’s say you make pizza for a living. You flip and flip and flip away tirelessly day in and day out, not for fun but to please hungry customers whom you don’t even particularly like anyway. This IS your job after all. Your paycheck depends on how well you make pizza. And let’s say in an alternate universe it is frowned upon to make pizza for a living. Only desperate, attention seeking, money hungry people make pizza. How entirely uncouth of you to want to make pizza instead of bartending, babysitting or wasting away in an office. Now imagine after you’ve mastered the perfect pizza toss all of your friends suddenly want you to teach them how to do it. They are elated to learn and brag and show their friends how they tossed a pizza for a night for fun, while all along you’ve been tossing the same pies for years while living under societies side eye JUST because you do it for money. See the frustration?

Not everyone hates strippers, but we are definitely not welcomed by society with open arms either. Some people are genuinely excited and sit starry eyed listening to my strip-capades and show every stranger at the bar my pole dancing videos while sticking up for me from hundreds of miles away, (shout out to my bitches, you know who you are.) Some women give me an “Oh that’s cool!” when they find out I’m a stripper while secretly hoping I never come within ten feet of their husbands. And some people STILL ask my boyfriend condescending questions behind my back as if they’re still not quite convinced that I’m not a total slut, con artist or alien. It’s not hard to pick up on people’s body language and I’m not oblivious to judgement, which is why most of the time I just stay home. So when someone asks me to teach them to pole dance it’s like a slap in the face. You mean you want me to teach you how to dance on a pole without all the physical, mental and social repercussions of being a stripper? Sure, let me get right on that.

This brings me to the subject of pole dancers. Man do I hate pole dancers. Dancing around in their little outfits, having their little pole challenges and all the while screaming “I’m not a whore, it’s OK because I’m not a stripper!” Please. If it walks like a duck and quacks like a duck…  I’m not here to argue about the origins of pole dancing, or whether or not I hate the sport, the whole point is why am I still catching flak from suburbia while they’re being praised for it? Why is being a stripper such an abomination? You do realize we were all born naked and are naked right now under our clothes *gasp* and if religion hadn’t composed a social construct saying it is immoral to be naked there would be no such profession as stripping, right? You all created this monster. But I digress.

I really don’t hate pole dancers. I’ve actually met some awesome women who even frequent strip clubs to support their slightly less clothed pole sisters. I haven’t run across any totally hateful accounts in awhile, and maybe that’s because I only follow a select few, but apparently the Internet was so full of condemnation that Elle Stranger created the #yesastripper hashtag to combat the constant berating strippers receive. It’s a way to stand proudly as a stripper and to say yes, this is my job and I am valid. I guess suburban pole dancing housewives were getting so much hate that they felt the need to post #notastripper under their pole videos and flip the script to focus on the real problem: strippers. Oh, I’m sorry, did someone call you a whore? I eat whorie-o’s for breakfast, GTFO.

Nonetheless I’m not surprised when normal people want me to teach them to pole dance. It’s fun, risqué and not everyone does it (which has been the tone of my whole life by the way.) Anyone who knows me personally would stick up for me and I can say that confidently. I’m not worried about my friends, it’s the rest of the world from which I need deliverance. I’m not asking my friends to be some kind of stripper advocating vigilante, but if you hear someone speaking illy, please set the record straight. I just hope the same people who have the audacity to ask my boyfriend if it’s just as much fun to see my tits at home as it is in the club don’t have the audacity to ask me to come climb up my pole at home. No, you may not, but feel free to climb up a building and jump off it.

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7 thoughts on “The Problem With Pole Dancing

  1. I would love to have your skills because I’ve watched your videos and you are good! However, I would never ask you to teach me. I have spent a great deal of time with dancers and for me I have no problem with your professional choice. You have to have a lot of balls to do what you do and I applaud that. I will say though I have a tough time with the dancer who comes out and rubs her back up and down the pole wiggles a little bit and calls it good. If you are going to put yourself out there do it, own it, give 100%. Regarding all of the suburban house wife pole dancers. I love “bad behavior” in a controlled environment. I feel like maybe some of these stepford-strippers are trying to decrease their spouses tips budget by taking up dancing themselves. Lots of ladies are so insecure about doing the stuff you do in front of their mates. So, instead of addressing the problem they have they make it your problem so they feel better and can make their mate feel bad. Human behavior is crazy. In closing, you are awesome don’t stay home I’d miss you and we need to chat more. ❤️❤️

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  2. If you don’t mind answering, how did you learn to pole dance so well? I’ve watched your videos and you look so graceful. Is this just something you pick up by watching and practice over and over? Or did you take classes? I know there’s a company around the KC area that has pole dancing lessons. I love reading your blog; it’s extremely interesting! Thanks for sharing 😊

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    1. I learned how to pole dance on the job, from other girls giving me tips and from watching pole videos on Instagram and trying to execute them myself at work when it was slow. Eventually I bought my own pole and began practicing at home by watching videos and teaching myself. I hope this helps. Thanks for reading!

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  3. You are the realest and you are not lying . There’s a lot of problems with pole dancing cuz I’ve been doing it for 6 years and girl your stories says the truth . We as strippers run thru plenty situation each and every day . 💯💯

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